If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him…is he still wrong?
An old Newfoundlander walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the stool, and asks for a whiskey. "Hey," he says, looking down the bar, "is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nods, so the Newfoundlander orders Jesus one too.
An ailing Quebecer with a humpback walks in, shuffles up to the bar, and asks for a glass of wine. Noticing Jesus, the Quebecer orders Him a glass of wine too.
A Cape Bretoner swaggers in and hollers, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey—is that God’s Boy down there?" The bartender nods, so the Cape Bretoner orders Him a bottle of beer.
As Jesus gets up to leave, He touches the Newfoundlander and says, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Newfoundlander jumps up and dances a jig.
Then Jesus touches the Quebecer and says, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Quebecer's humpback straightens, and he does a flip.
Just then the Cape Bretoner yells out, "Don’t touch me! I’m drawing disability!"
One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.
The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.
The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, “Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped.” The boy replied, “I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved.”
